Amazed
by completetherainbow
Summary: Dean wakes to Castiel holding him, how will Dean react? SLASH DEAN/CASTIEL THERE WILL BE SMUT! BUT NOTHING TOO EXPLICIT, IT'S LOVE, NOT A PORNO, PEOPLE! Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Another part in this series... I really don't know how long this series will be, but it will be AWESOME! Ahem, please enjoy, I'm prolly gonna have the rest uploaded by tonight and tomorrow... SO... Ownership to their respective owners, and don't forget to REVIEW!

Disclaimer: Amazed is performed and owned by Lonestar. Yay, Lonestar!

* * *

Dean woke, feeling happy. Or, at least, better. He couldn't understand why, though. His shoulders felt... lighter. His chest wasn't so... constricted. His headache, which he had had since before he broke up with Lisa, was gone. So, with out dwelling onto why he was feeling better, because he was sure that would cause a different kind of headache, he began to sit up. Only to realize he couldn't.

"I'm sorry," came a gravelly voice behind him, that sent shivers down his spine, "did I wake you?"

He turned to see Cas, still in his suit and trench, holding him to the angels chest.

_Every time our eyes meet, this... feeling inside me, is almost more than I can take._ Blue met green, and Deans heart stuttered. Why was Cas holding him in his sleep?

"C-Cas?" He whispered, seeing love being emitted in the angels cerulean eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Castiel smiled softly, "Holding you."

Deans heart melted. But, confusion still emitted his features. "Why?"

Castiel didn't respond, just studied his face, the soft smile still there. He lifted his free hand and cupped Deans cheek. And, without permission, Deans eyes closed.

_Every time you touch me, I can feel how much you love me._ Castiels thumb traced his jaw then, slowly, moved up to his lip. Dean shuddered at the feeling of love being poured into the touch. Castiels calloused thumb moving slowly over chin and then lip. _And it blows me away._

Castiels smile got slightly wider, _"Ive never been this close to anyone... or anything."_ He leaned forward, staring intently into the green eyes that had flown open. "Dean," he whispered.

'Please, for the love of God, kiss me, Castiel,' Dean thought, his lips twitching in delight at the thought of being kissed.

Amusement flew into Castiel, _"I _can_ hear your thoughts,"_ he gently reminded Dean.

Dean had only dreamed of this moment since he had last seen Castiel. Being held by him, making love to him, making the angel squirm with pleasure and ecstasy.

"Oh, Dean," Castiel whispered, eyes closing, a look of pleasure/pain on his face, _"I can see your dreams."_ And with that last word, Castiels lips descended to Deans.

'Oh, God,' Dean thought, eyes closing. His lips pressed harder into the angels, tongue sneaking out without control, forcing its way into Cas's, and meeting the others. Pleasure course through their bodies as the dance for dominance ensued. 'How is his kiss _this_ fucking amazing?'

_I don't know how you do what you do._ How did Castiel make his feel this fire? How did he ignite and entice these feelings in him? How? Really, Dean didn't care. He was feeling it again, and, honestly, that is all that mattered.

Desperation coursed through both of them, their hands began to roam. Dean palmed the others chest, Cas pulled Dean closer. Both moaned as their erections brushed. How had they lived without this all of their lives?

Dean pulled away, looking at Castiel, and he couldn't help noting with satisfaction that the angel was thoroughly disheveled. Bruised lips, lidded eyes, hair a mess... of course, it was always like that. But, the look on his face was because of Dean, and that was okay! Oh, he loved this man... this being... this angel. So, it only felt natural to lean forward, and whisper, _"I'm so in love with you."_

The angels eyes widened slightly, but smiled again, "Good, because this will keep happening every morning, and it would be awkward if you didn't." He flexed his hips, moaning at the electricity.

"Oh, baby," Dean groaned out, _"It just keeps getting better."_

"Of course it does, Dean." He lifted his hand again, running his fingers through his hair, "I have something to confess," causing Deans eyes to open, _"I want to spend the rest of my life... with _you_ by my side... forever and ever."_ His face honest and open, but solemn. What if Dean didn't want a commitment.

Deans heart stuttered to a stop... almost. _"Every little thing that you do," _he whispered, leaning his forehead on Castiels, "making me all tingly inside, and warm outside, but you are soo... you make me..." Dean searched for words. _"Baby, I'm amazed by you."_ He pulled Cas closer, "I will always love you, Cas."

Castiel pulled Dean's head down to meet his, and the kissing dance ensued again. Hands roamed, up chests, down backs, around waists. Then, Castiel slipped his fingers under Deans shirt. Burning... The scorching from his fingers on Deans back made him arch. It was perfect. Castiel pulled his shirt off of him and he could hear it rip... Meh, he didn't like that shirt anyway.

The angels hands found their way to his nipples and teased and caressed. Dean moaned, 'God, he was made for loving me,' he thought.

"I hope I was." Castiel whispered agains his neck. "Oh, Dean," he suckled his jugular, "the things I will do to you." His eyes darkened more when he heard the larger male whimper. He inhaled deeply at the base of his throat. "I love so much about you," he said, licking him. _"The smell of your skin,"_ he came back up to Deans lips, _"the tast of your kiss." _Cas pressed his lips to Deans, licking the roof of the other mans mouth.

"Oh, God, Cas," Dean moaned.

Castiel smiled, _"The way you whisper in the dark."_

He pushed Dean on to his back, whispered something Dean didn't catch, and suddenly they were naked. Dean's breath caught in his wind pipe, looking up at the now naked angel. His chest was flawless, toned, and hairless. Though, he remembered there was a trail of black hair leading to... Dean gulped... He'd forgotten how endowed the angel was.

Not anymore. Dean smiled.

Grasping the angels erection, he brought it brush his. Both moaned, loudly, heads flying back, eyes closed. Their mouths met, a heated battle, that was quickly over, as the began to flex their hips to one another.

"I love you, Cas," Dean raised his hands to the hip bones of his lover, _"Your body all around me,"_ he smoothed his hands over Castiels back as the angels hips moved faster, _"baby, you surround me,"_ he met the angels eyes, _'touches every place in my heart.' _He thought, pleading for the angel to have heard him.

The angel flexed harder, causing him to arch, feeling his orgasm approaching. Had it always felt like this? Was it because they hadn't done it in so long? Had this fire always been here?

'No,' his subconscious said, 'it hasn't.' He looked into the blue eyes, burning inside.

_"It feels like the first time,"_ he whispered to the angel, who nodded in response.

The angel sped up even more, brushing their erections hard, searching for the one thing they needed so desperately. _"Every time."_

Dean closed his eyes, he was so close. But, he could feel Castiel looking at him. He knew the angel was doing it, staring. He always did. Always when they made love, he stared. And he was doing it now, as a pushed Dean over whatever cliff he was headed. Those eyes... just penetrated him. _"I wanna spend my whole life in your eyes,"_ he whimpered.

"Forever," Castiel whispered back. This one word was enough.

Dean came, hard. His body shuddered, his fingers clawing into Cas, causing the angels back to bow. This pain... this pleasure... Castiel came just as hard. Fingers gripped Dean for dear life. 'Oh, my love.' He whispered to him, silently. Once spent, they lay next to one another.

Just as they were coming down from their high, they glanced at each other. They had both missed this. This feeling that they invoked in one another. They didn't know what caused it, how it came to be or why it still lasted, but it was there.

_'Every little thing that you do,' _they thought together, _'baby I'm amazed by you.'_


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So, here is the sweetest one I've written, I think. No smut in this one... Sorry, thems is the breaks... However, the next one will be smutty... sort of ... maybe. I'm not too sure! Either way! ALL OWNERSHIP TO THOSE WHO OWN THEM! ALSO PLEASE REVIEW! I AM A REVIEW WHORE! I LOOOOOOVE REVIEWS! Thank you...

Disclaimer: It's Your Love belongs to Tim McGraw!

* * *

Dean and Castiel stood out in a field, one night, after a major wendigo hunt. The hunt had been stressful, long, and exhausting. Dean had been injured, his arm broken, but Cas fixed him, so no real harm done. Now, they were both sitting in front of the Impala, Dean with a beer at hand, and Cas just sitting, relishing in his companions presence.

The night sky was perfect, filled to the brim with stars, a romantic setting. Just what Dean had in mind.

He set his bottle down, looked over at Cas, smiled, before grabbing the angel's hand.

"C'mon," he said, dragging Cas into the middle of the field.

The angel, thought surprised by the sudden movement, had no resistance, and allowed himself to be dragged. Dean pulled the Castiel close to his body, wrapping an arm around his waist, and holding his hand. Cas raised an eyebrow, before wrapping his own arm around Dean's torso.

"What are we doing, Dean?" Cas asked, as Dean began to hum a tune and shuffle them around.

Dean smiled, _"Dancing in the dark in the middle of the night."_

Castiel smiled back, allowing his body to sway this way and that with Dean's. His heart clenched at the thought that Dean wanted to dance with him. He knew this just wasn't something that Dean did.

"Do you know what you are doing?" Cas asked as Dean, who was still humming, twirled them in the field.

Dean shrugged, "Sort of." He hummed for another beat, "But I can guess what we're going to end up doing forever."

"What?" Cas asked, his head tilting slightly.

"_Taking your heart and holding it tight,"_ he leaned forward, kissing the angel, _"touching your skin… and asking you to do what you've been doing all over again."_

Castiel smirked back at the human. "Really?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah, these things that go on between us," He motioned, _"it's a beautiful thing."_

Castiel nodded as they spun again, "Yes, it is." He leaned forward and kissed Deans neck. "Love it a very explosive emotion, I've come to find."

"Yeah," Dean grinned wider, swaying a bit more, _"don't think I can keep it all in."_

"Then don't," Castiel responded.

"_I'm gonna let you know," _Dean said, staring the angel in the eye, _"what it is that won't let me go."_

"What do you mean?" Cas asked.

"I mean that there is something about you… something amazing that won't let me love anything else," Dean murmured, "the way I love you."

"Do you know what it is?" Cas whispered back, letting his forehead rest on Deans.

"Oh, yeah," Dean said, _"It's you love."_ Dean said, kissing the angel again. _"It just does something to me._" He pulled Cas closer, _"It sends a shock right through me, and I can't get enough."_ He rubbed his hand down Cas' back, _"And if you wonder about the spell I'm under… it's your love."_

Cas smiled, almost sadly, but locked eyes with Dean. "I know how you feel." He looked to the side, and then back, "I've changed since meeting you… since loving you. I've become different." His eyes were distant for a moment. _"Better than I was… more than I am,"_ his smile became wider as he looked at Dean, _"And all of this happened by taking your hand."_

The swirled around again, noses nearly touching, just looking at each other.

"_Who I am now… is who I wanted to be,"_ Castiel said, "I've always envied humans for being who they are." Dean could understand that, _"And… now that we're together, I'm smarter and better… happy and… _free._"_

Dean felt shock course through him, "You make me a better man, Cas." He smiled, _"And, it's a beautiful thing."_

Cas closed his eyes, _"If they ask me why I've changed, all I'll do you is say your wonderful name."_

Dean felt confusion, who would ask him why he's changed? But, he didn't dwell on it, as the angel closed the gap between them and he felt the soft lips descend.

_It's his love. It just does something to me. It sends a shock right through me…. I can't get _enough._ And if he is to wonder, about the spell that I'm under… It's your love._


	3. Chapter 3

AN: So, I think you'll like this chapter, again no smut in this one, but its extra long and there will be one more chapter after this. I'm sorry for the delay but I've been working 55 hour weeks. And... I have to sleep and take care of my baby girl. She starts school soon, so I'm hoping I'll be able to write more for this and get over my writers block with "Saving Me". No promises. So Please R&R!

Disclaimer: Listen to your Heart belongs to Roxette! She's awesome.

* * *

"What the fuck do you mean 'God will be taking back all of his angels?!" Dean shouted, looking between the three people before him.

Sam sighed, quietly. He knew this was probably the worst thing he could say to his brother. The group thought he had come back from hell soulless, but, actually he had. He was just… a bit more emotionless than before. But when Castiel and Bobby had explained to him what was going to happen he was torn. Happy; because he wouldn't have to deal with demons anymore, and that whole boy king bullshit, but he didn't want Cas to go away, and he knew that Dean would be heart broken.

Then he found out Bobby already knew. It pissed him off, but not as much as it would Dean.

So, he gave them an ultimatum; tell Dean, or he would.

"It's just as we said, Dean," Bobby said, gruffly. Jesus, he hadn't wanted to do this. But, Castiel had come to him only hours before saying it was going to happen within the next week or two. It was time to fess up.

Dean looked livid. He knew Sam had only known for a short while or he would have hinted or said something. He was also sure that Bobby was only looking out for Castiel. But Castiel had no excuse. He should have told him the moment Dean woke up in his arms.

Dean had had dreams… made plans for the future. He wanted to do things with Castiel. He wanted to wake up a wrinkly old man… with Castiel still in his arms. And now, they were insuring that he wouldn't.

"H-how long?" Dean asked. He stared down to the dirty wooden floor beneath him.

Confused looks were directed at him. "What do you mean?" Castiel finally spoke.

"How long until you are…." He couldn't even finish.

There was a beat before the monotone response of, "Two weeks, at most," was given.

'He's no good,' his inner voice whispered, 'otherwise he wouldn't have kept this from you.' Yeah, he agreed. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

"I'm leaving, have a good life." He said, before he turned and left the house, leaving the other three people in shock.

Castiel felt his heart break.

* * *

Dean stormed into the apartment that he'd lived in for the past few months. Jesus. What was he going to do? He could barely live without Castiel before. And now…. Now, God was being a dick head. As usual.

He heard a flap of wings, the sound causing him to grimace.

"Dean," he felt a wonderful set of arms wrap around his body. "_Olani hoalth ol._" Cas whispered to him.

He felt his eyes close. He didn't know if he could do this. "Why are you here, Cas?"

"Because, whatever time I have left… I want to spend it with you." He heard the angel respond, and felt his grip tighten.

Dean felt his jaw tremble. "I… I'm not sure if that is the best thing for us, Cas."

Castiel removed his arms, slowly, before saying, "Do you no longer feel love for me?"

Tears were brimming his eyes, as Dean said, "That's not it, and you know it."

"Please look at me, Dean," Castiel pleaded, running his long hands up his back.

Turning, but keeping his face down, Dean almost cursed when he felt a tear slip. "I can't lose you, Castiel. Not like that, so it would probably be best if…." He trailed off, raising a hand to wipe the tears away.

Castiel lifted a hand to his chin, moving his head to meet his eyes. Blue met glassy green, and Cas felt his heart break even more. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Deans. How could he have done this to the man he loved? Cas went to press a kiss to Dean's lips, but was thwarted when the chin in his grasp jerked away.

"No, I won't do this." Dean growled, before he turned his heel, grabbed his coat and left.

Cas knew he would no longer be able to find Dean unless Dean wanted to be found.

* * *

Dean threw back the last sip of beer. Damn, it had been a long night. What was he going to do? He glanced up at the soft grey eyes staring back as the woman behind the counter refilled his beer. She was a beauty. Her auburn hair fell in curls around her face, reaching just below her breasts. Her black shirt stretched across a beautiful set of curves. She could be just the thing he needed.

_But what about Cas?_ A voice thought. He felt some guilt. Had he really broken up with Castiel? _No._ The voice responded. He glanced down the bar, at the heart shaped ass that you could bounce a nickel off of. Did he want to pass on this?_ Yes. Cas would be upset._ Shut up brain, before I stab you with a Q-tip.

"Rough night?" A voice drawled with a southern twang.

He glanced up to see the brunette beauty. He smirked, "Yeah, you could say that." He took another swig of beer.

"Your honey leave you?" She asked, leaning over the bar. It would have given him a perfect view of her rack if she hadn't crossed her arms. Her blue eyes were kind, and they gave him some semblance of ease. They made him almost want to answer.

"Maybe. Why? You wanna be my new one?" He threw on his swag face.

"Hmm, as tempting as it is," she smirked, "I was thinking more like giving you some advice."

"On my relationship?" He asked, lifting his beer again, "I don't need help with him." He mumbled, knowing she wouldn't hear.

"Yeah, because I've seen this before," she said. "Trust me. I've heard it all before."

He snorted, _I doubt that._

"_I know there's something in the wake of your smile,_" she said, looking him dead in the eyes. Green met green in an almost battle of the wills. "_I get that notion from the look in your eyes that you've built up a love._"

His gaze wavered when she said that.

"_But… that love falls apart, and your little piece of heaven turns to dark._" She tilted her head, "Stop me when I get to the part where I'm wrong." She paused, waiting for the reply that never came.

He shook his head. She knew exactly what he was feeling. It wasn't surprising. In the industry she worked it would be a miracle if she didn't hear it every night. Dean shook his head, taking a long swing of beer while she watched him intently. What did she know? Nothing. She couldn't know what it was like to know _true_ _heaven_ and the hands of an _angel_. A piece of God's creation that made him feel more love than he had ever felt.

"Look," he started, "you don't really know what you're talking about."

She looked down at the bar, before looking back up, smirking, "Oh, but I do."

He shook his head, "I'm sorry, I've gotta go." He stood, pulled out his wallet, and handed her a twenty.

She frowned, "Wait." She put a hand on his arm, causing him to halt. Her touch was warm… and comforting. "Just… promise me you'll do something."

He searched her face, his brow forming a frown at her worried expression. "What?"

"_Listen to your heart when he's calling for you." _She responded in a rush.

He shook his head, closing his eyes around the buzz, "Excuse me?" He asked, looking into her clear hazel eyes. Lord, he needed to quit drinking.

"_Listen to your heart,_" she said again, and when he meant to break apart from her grip, she held tighter, "_There's nothing else you can do._"

"I don't have time for this." He muttered, going to pull away again.

"_I don't know where you're going,_" she responded, "_and I don't know why._" She looked down, her hand still had an iron grip on his wrist, "_but… listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye._"

He jerked his arm away from her and the bar. "I don't know who you are," he growled, "but you so don't know me." He barely glanced sideways as he stormed from her and the bar.

Knowing brown eyes followed his every move, hoping. For once in its entire existence, God had made true intervention. He was not going to allow Dean to walk away from his favorite angel. He took this form to attempt to convince Dean to not give up on his son. Perhaps allow him time to grieve and then go back. He knew that distance could make the heart grow fonder. But, he also knew that he had given all of his creature's free will. He felt, however, a familiar tingle in his ears as he heard a prayer being said. He smiled

But, sometimes, they needed just a little push in the right direction. So, he allowed his own words to ring again into just the right ears.

* * *

Castiel sat on the bed, his hands folded as he waited for Dean to return. This decree was going to destroy Castiel. He would most likely end up fading. He didn't want that to happen. But, he knew that depression for an angel meant this.

'_Father,'_ he whispered in prayer, '_please. I am torn. As your child, your servant, and one of the holy hosts, it is my duty to follow your word as law._' He paused, '_But, I am torn. I have found love. The kind you have decreed as mortal; and I find myself wanting only to be in _his_ presence and not yours._' Castiel felt his heart break at the thought of not seeing his brethren. Could he cut himself from heaven once again? _'Please father, I am in dire need of your guidance.'_

He sighed, wondering if his father had heard. He closed his eyes, allowing the knowledge that his father probably didn't care enough about one angel to worry. But, then he felt a comforting presence. He couldn't tell where, but he knew it was all around him.

That was when he heard his father's voice for the first time. It was warm. It was cold. It was female. It was male. It was high pitched and low pitched. It was everywhere and nowhere. It was everything. It filled him and left him empty without it. It spoke in a whisper. But, it spoke volumes.

"_My son,_" came his father's voice, "_my wonderful child. You seek my guidance many a times. All of the times before were of things that you had no choice in. But, as you have learned all of my creatures have choice. You all have freedom. And so, I give you the guidance that you seek._" His father paused, allowing Castiel to absorb what had been told. He prayed to his father often. All of the things before he had no choice in? He didn't dwell on this. His father was giving him guidance when he needed it most. He would not anger his father.

"I am listening, father, always." Castiel whispered.

"_I know my son._" God responded.

"Please," Castiel begged, dropping to his knees.

"_Listen to your heart, when he is calling for you._" God commanded. "_Listen to your heart. There is nothing else you can do._"

Cas heard the familiar rumble of the Impala being parked outside. He needed to see Dean.

"_I don't know where he's going_," God said, "_and I don't know why_."

How could God not know? Oh…. Free will.

"_But listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye._"

Then, just as it was there, the comfort left. And Castiel was alone again.

* * *

AN: Two things. PLEASE REVIEW! ITS LIKE CRACK TO WRITERS. Also, yes, that chick bartender was God.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Final Chapter! Implied mpreg... not verified. And, no I don't think there will be a sequel. Please R&R! I'm starting a new fic soon... not sure what it will be. I've not given up on Saving Me, I've just got no inspiration with that one at the moment. Anywho!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Also, major props to Jason Mraz for the song "I Won't Give Up", which I shamelessly stole the lyrics.

* * *

Dean returned. That's all there was to it. He had entered his apartment, saw Castiel, and rushed forward. Gathering the weeping angel into his arms, he held him close. He needed him. The chick at the bar was right. He needed to listen to his heart. And everything in him told him that he needed to be with Cas. He didn't know how long he really had left with the being of God, but he needed every second.

It was roughly a week later, lying in bed that he looked down at his love. Cheesy, yes, but that's who Castiel was. His love. So, as he was looking down at Cas, he couldn't stop the tears from forming. How was he going to last without Cas to hold him up? To be there to save him? To patch him together with a simple touch? The truth was… he didn't know. And he knew he probably wouldn't last long.

Feeling the shaking of Dean's chest, Castiel looked up. His heart broke, again. He pulled Dean close to him and vanished their clothing. The muscles under his hands began to spasm as he caressed his back. Castiel brought his lips down to Dean's neck, kissing just behind the ear. Dean shuddered at the contact. This wasn't about lust, necessarily, more about intimacy. Dean needed proof that he would always love him. And he would. Until God unmade him and he knew no more.

Dean gripped Castiel around the waist. _Perhaps_, he thought to himself, _if I hold him hard enough, I'll just merge with him._ He looked up to Castiel, the tears brimming and falling. Castiel met his gaze, the leaned down, kissing the tears away.

"Dean," Cas said, his voice rough, full of emotion, "I love you."

Dean felt the tears fall harder. _Please,_ Dean thought in whispers, _don't leave me._

Eyes still locked, and having heard what Dean had pleaded he leaned down to push their foreheads together. He knew that this was killing Dean. He knew it would, in the end; if it be through a careless hunt, and being killed by some monster, or through an actual suicide. Cas didn't know if he could live with that.

Drawing a breath he whispered, "_When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky,"_ he pondered for a moment, "_or a beautiful sunrise._" He tilted his head in the puppy dog fashion, staring into Deans eyes. His eyes had seen so many horrors, and not enough miracles. "_There's so much they hold." _ He hated to think that Dean didn't have faith, but he could understand why he had felt that way. Look at the situation now. But, Dean's soul had been to Hell. Had spent forty years there. Forty horrible, long, cruel years. "_How old is your soul?_"

Dean looked down, not wanting to be under the scope like that. But, he couldn't help looking back up to the angel. "I hate that you have to leave." Dean whispered. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to go on." He pulled him closer. "How will I go on without you?"

Castiel brought his hand up to cup the back of his head. _"Well, I won't give up on us,_" he said, kissing Dean briefly, "_even if the skies get rough."_ He then pulled Dean into a harsher kiss. His tongue breached Dean's lips as soon as he gasped. His tongue raked the roof of Dean's mouth, causing lust to course through his veins.

"Cas," Dean pulled away for just one breath, before being pulled into another kiss. Teeth nipped, tongues clashed, moans were swallowed.

Castiel brought his hand down to the cup the human's shaft. It pulsed under his touch. Oh, how he would miss this. Dean groaned when he gave a particularly harsh squeeze. He then began to allow his fingers to travel lower. Scraping the scrotum with his nails, causing a hiss through teeth, Cas moved down to the perineum. He brushed it, back and forth, in a come hither fashion. Dean writhed. He loved this so much. Watching Dean wiggle and pulse was heaven for him.

"Cas," Dean groaned, "love me!" He twisted his head, glancing down to see Cas staring at his face, "Don't look away!" He squeezed his eyes shut in pleasure. He needed Cas to see how much he needed him.

"_I'm giving you _all_ of my love,_" Cas whispered back. "_I'm still looking up._"

Cas pulled himself to a kneeling position, grabbing Dean's cock with his other hand. His lower hand breached his hole. Dean gasped. Cas pumped Dean's cock while he twisted his finger, before adding another. It was getting to be too much. He needed Dean now.

Pulling his finger out, he grabbed the lubrication, smeared some on his own dick, and then positioned himself. "I love you," he whispered, then sheathed himself to the hilt. It was like the purest silk. He would never know pleasure such as being inside of Dean, except, maybe, Dean being inside of him.

Dean jerked at the push, having been barely prepped, but still felt pleasure as his prostate was hit dead on. It was magic. It had to be. It was the only way to explain the electricity that he felt every time he and Castiel made love. Castiel began to move and Dean was lost. He could only feel. Well, and hear Castiel begin to grunt. It was music to his ears. Proof that Cas was still there.

The hand around Dean's cock had gone slack until he felt the pulse in it again. Then, in sync with his thrusts, he began to pump his hand. Dean groaned, opening his eyes to meet Castiels. The blue eyes had never left his face, the pupils taking in all of his pleasure… reveling in it. That thought alone caused his orgasm. He jerked and released his load all over the angels chest, along with his own.

The tightening of the warm crevice around his shaft caused Cas's release. He shot his load, the longest he ever had, and collapsed on his human.

Still breathing hard, Dean looked down at the messy head that was buried in his chest. His heart clenched. He still couldn't do this. Gently removing the angel, and stood, grabbing the designated 'Jizz Rag', and wiping himself.

He walked into the kitchen, putting some distance between himself and the angel. He began to load the dishwasher. Yes, he was naked. No, he didn't care.

"Dean," he heard behind him, which he ignored. The dishwasher filled, he added soap then began to wash his hands.

"Cas, I need a little-"

"Space." Castiel finished for him. He turned, to face the angel, with his brow raised. Castiel sighed, waving his hand, and his clothes reappeared on him.

"_When you're needing your space,_" Cas said slowly, "_to do some… navigating,"_ he waved his hand in a vague way, "_I'll be here patiently waiting to see what you'll find."_ He smiled softly, "I'm hoping it'll be you're love for me." He turned to leave.

Dean sobbed, tears in his eyes again. Dammit! Why did he have to keep crying? "You know I feel this burning in my chest!" He shouted to the angel, causing him to swivel around to face the human. "Every fucking time I think about what could happen any day now I feel a burning! It's painful. It's like Hell again. But, this time it's more… it's like my soul is being ripped out and set on fire." He looked away. "I'm falling, Cas. My hopes and dreams, the ones I had for us… they're falling."

Castiel walked to his lover, placing his hands on his face to force him to look at him. "I know how you feel. It's just like when I lost my grace." He smiled briefly and bitterly. "You know there are people who believe the angels were the stars." He cleared his throat. "_Even the stars… they burn. Some even fall to the Earth."_ He pointed to himself. "Falling… I was fallen once. You ripped every dream I thought I had and replaced it. With better ones."

Dean's tears finally fell. "_We gotta lot to learn, huh?"_ He leaned forward and rested his head on Castiel's shoulder. "About each other, at least. We've gotta make this work while we can, huh?"

"_God knows we're worth it." _Castiel responded, wrapping his arms around Dean, holding him close.

"Cas," Dean whispered, looking at his face, "_I don't want to be someone who walks away so easily… I'm here to stay._" He looked fierce, even with tears, "Fuck God."

Cas shook his head. "If only it were that easily. We can't go against God decree."

"Why? He's an ass!" Dean shouted, holding Cas closer.

"I guess that's how we differ." Cas said, and when Dean went to pull away, he quickly soothed, "_Our differences do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we've got."_

Dean quit his half assed attempt to get away. He knew any day now Cas would leave. He would miss his innocent wit. And his curiosity. And the way his mouth… eh… just everything he supposed. And, being with him made Dean happy. Happier than he ever was with… anybody.

He made Dean laugh, and obviously cry, but mostly laugh. He had a lot in common with Dean… Not that he can think of anything at the moment, but Dean was emotional right now… thinking wasn't required. Still, Cas was the best person Dean knew. So, it made sense when Dean looked at him and said:

"_And in the end…. You're still my friend._" He raised his hand to the side of Castiels face, "_At least we did intend for us to work._" Dean's thumb padded the angel's lips. "We made a great team."

"Even if we fought like hell in the beginning?" Cas said, laughing at Dean's mock glare.

"_We had to learn how to bend…"_ He half shrugged, "_without the world caving in."_

Castiel nodded, "We both had to learn." Cas ticked his fingers, "_I had to learn what I've got."_

"Humanity," Dead quipped, smirking at Cas' blush and he trailed his fingers over his still naked form. Why was Dean dressed again?

"_What I'm not," _he ticked again.

"God," Dean said, bringing his fingers to the nipples and tweaking them. "I'm pretty sure God doesn't commit sins of the flesh."

Cas shook his head, "_And who I am."_ He finished.

"Castiel, Dean's angel." Dean said, bringing his hand around his back. He met the angels true blue eyes. This was the hardest thing he would ever have to do. God help him, Castiel would leave him on this Earth with nothing to show for it… but memories.

"_I won't give up,_ Dean." Castiel whispered, "Even if I have to fight my way out. _Even if the skies get rough,_" he pulled Dean closer. "_I will give you all of my love._" He brought his hand to the nape of Dean's neck, "_God knows you're worth it._"

"He damn well better," Dean whispered, kissing the angel senseless and leading them back to the bedroom.

They made love again, Cas entering Dean again. Taking him…. Filling him. It was hard, and in the end they both sobbed. It was the last time and they knew that.

When Dean woke he was alone. It was total emptiness in the apartment and he knew that Cas had been pulled to heaven. The gates were locked now. Cas wasn't coming back.

* * *

Four weeks later, Dean bent over the toilet again. That was the third time this week. Bobby was not going to be happy if he didn't finish that car, but he just couldn't keep his food down. Ever since Cas had left, he'd felt nauseas. He'd been tired too. Depression is what everyone else called it. He didn't care. He just wanted his angel back.

He turned back to the '75 Mustang and grimaced. All the smells of the oil and grease were getting to him. He couldn't stand being near the garage right now. And, despite having just upchucked, he was starving. For tacos.

Fuck… if he didn't know any better he'd say he was pregnant.


End file.
